Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Slipping through my fingers....

Ok, so maybe I'm being a bit over dramatic, I mean it's just kindergarten, right?  I know I am, but next thing I know she will be in high school!  Sarah has entered a whole new world of learning and she is truly in heaven!  She LOVES school, loves learning and discovering new things.  She loves reading and is such an excellent artist, I'm in awe of her.  She could draw through a ream of paper in a day if I let her.  So at school, she is free to experience it all in ways that I could not give her.  And I know that is the school's job and I know I shouldn't feel guilty about it (but I do sometimes, I don't know why).   She was so excited when I picked her up yesterday and couldn't wait to go back today.  Sometimes when I look at her, I just marvel at this beautiful being that I brought into the world 5 years ago.

I really like her teacher, she seems fantastic!  She is so caring and has such a wonderful energy!  Sarah already loves her.  Yesterday afternoon after snack, my girls started playing school and Sarah was "Mrs. Burnett."  I will have to tell her that sometime. 

The past two mornings we were able to walk our children right into the gym, right to the teacher! Tomorrow though we just drop them off at the front door.  Her classroom is at the back of the school.  The thought of her walking all the way by herself kept me awake for hours last night.  Then I came up with the idea of asking on of the other mom's if their child might want to walk with Sarah so they could walk together.  That idea allowed me to fall asleep.  Even with this plan in place though, drop off will be infinitely harder for me, Sarah will probably be nervous but she will be fine.  I don't know how parents of children who are bused handle it, I'm fairly certain, I would be a wreck.  I admire those parents!  Several times now, I've seen Sarah talk to herself to psych herself up to do something.  When she was having trouble getting her kite in the air, she made up a song, saying "Never give up, I'll never give up."  When she was trying to psych herself up to go across the monkey bars, she said over and over "I believe in my heart that I can do it."  So I'm sure tomorrow if she has trouble she will talk herself into overcoming her nervousness!  She truly amazes me!! 

I think sometimes I need to be more like her, with her enthusiasm and her amazing self esteem.  I'm so proud of her when she is her own cheerleader.  Sometimes you just need that.  I can't wait for her to cheer me on during the race in October!  She will be over the top!  It will be excellent!!!  I miss her terribly and I can't wait to go pick her up in 2 hours and hear all about her day!! 

Just a quick update about my running:  I ran 5 miles Saturday night after 2 excellent birthday parties.  I haven't run at night in a really long time.  It seemed so different, I'm pretty sure I swallowed a couple bugs.  There don't seem to be any bugs in the morning.  I got home just as it was getting really dark.  I thought since it was the end of the day I wouldn't need much of a warmup, but my calves were bothering me. 
This morning I ran 5.1 miles.  I started later than I wanted to and the inside of my calf was really bothering me.  So I walked for a good chunk of time.  Around 2.5 miles, "There Must Be an Angel" came on my Ipod and I started running and kept going and my leg felt fine.  It seems to take me a long time to warm up, not sure why.  I got home later than I wanted and then our morning was a bit rushed. 

I have a 3 mile run on Thursday and then a 10.2 mile run on Saturday!!  Next week is going to be a high mileage week.  I hope I can keep up!  I hope the weather cooperates too.  I hope Hurricane Earl stays out at sea!!

And I know I've rambled on long enough but wanted to share this quickly.  On the Nike website, there is this "Mini Me" that is supposed to provide extra motivation for you.  I think it's fairly lame, you can customize them a bit, but wish there were more options, mine looks kind of freaky actually.  Anyway, if you click on it, it will say semi-motivating things.  But yesterday I changed mine up a bit and when I was finished it said "Your running skills defy gravity."  When I read it, a chill actually went through my whole body.  I hadn't seen it say that before, I thought it was pretty awesome that it echoed my new theme song. 

Emma starts preschool next Wednesday.  She is going M-W-F mornings.  Who knows how I will be doing next week?!?!?  Weren't they babies just yesterday?  Time has just flown by so quickly around here.  I think time literally sped up when Emma was born.  I'm hoping to spend most of the time they are both at school at the gym!  Hopefully, at first I will be too busy to be sad.  I'm sure next week, I ramble on and on about her too! 

Schoolbag in hand, she leaves home in the early morning
Waving goodbye with an absent-minded smile
I watch her go with a surge of that well-known sadness
And I have to sit down for a while
The feeling that I'm losing her forever
And without really entering her world
I'm glad whenever I can share her laughter
That funny little girl

Slipping through my fingers all the time
I try to capture every minute
The feeling in it
Slipping through my fingers all the time
Do I really see what's in her mind
Each time I think I'm close to knowing
She keeps on growing
Slipping through my fingers all the time

Sleep in our eyes, her and me at the breakfast table
Barely awake, I let precious time go by
Then when she's gone there's that odd melancholy feeling
And a sense of guilt I can't deny
What happened to the wonderful adventures
The places I had planned for us to go
(slipping through my fingers all the time)
Well, some of that we did but most we didn't
And why I just don't know

Sometimes I wish that I could freeze the picture
And save it from the funny tricks of time
Slipping through my fingers...

Slipping through my fingers all the time
Schoolbag in hand she leaves home in the early morning
Waving goodbye with an absent-minded smile...

1 comment:

  1. Do you see your self at all? even so , look what you and Seth haven your girls! How wonderful!