Defying Gravity

When my alarm went off at 5:50 this morning, I did not want to wake up, it was dark outside and I really just wanted to turn the alarm off and sleep until 8:00.  I knew that I was scheduled for a 4 mile run so I lay there, fighting with myself and finally I kicked off the covers and got my butt out of bed.  I got dressed and ready to head out.  But I wasn't feeling very motivated. 

I walked a bit to warm up and then ran a mile but my calves were bothering me, I stopped a couple times to stretch them out more.  I kept thinking about my great run on Saturday and was feeling a little blue about how I was feeling this morning, just kind of discouraged.  It's a kind of gray overcast morning with wicked humidity, just kind of a yucky morning all around.  I was thinking that maybe I had overdone it on Saturday and now I'm paying for it. I was definitely thinking that this was a big step back.  I walked 2 miles and then the Hallelujah Chorus came on my Ipod and I started running.  My legs were finally warmed up, they didn't hurt so I ran.  I wanted to go further but I had to get home so Seth could get to work.  I went 4.64 miles this morning, but I was disappointed, it was a poor showing in my opinion.  Of course I'm my worst coach and judge.  I'm very hard on myself and I was just scheduled to do a 4 mile run on my training schedule but I wanted to do 5 miles.  I have a serious tendency to want to over do! 

After my shower and breakfast, while I was icing my Achilles tendon, I plugged my Ipod into the computer and after it synced, it opened up the Nike website and a skater named P. Rod popped up and congratulated me on running 100 miles total and called me a serious runner and then he said I was a badass.  (Since June 17th, I've run 101.52 miles)  Also another runner, whose name escapes me, popped up and congratulated me on running my fastest mile so far.  I ran a mile in 10 min 56 sec.  Could this info really be about the same run I was so disappointed in?!?!  I'm so glad I have this sensor to prove me wrong and it has on several occasions.    I definitely need to be more gentle to myself and give myself a break! 

So I have a new theme song and sometimes when I listen to it, it sometimes makes me cry!  It's "Defying Gravity" from the musical Wicked.  I have to admit that I haven't seen Wicked or even read the book.  But I heard this song on "Glee," which I admit that I am coming in late in watching it.  I'm watching the reruns this summer.  My sister and many of my friends rave about the show and it is fantastic.  My friend Alysia even named her blog after this song.  So I heard it and liked it but it wasn't until this morning while I was listening to it on my Ipod, that it really clicked with me, that it was speaking directly to me and about my journey to the 1/2 marathon.  That all of my running and training is me "defying gravity."  That it's time to trust my instincts, close my eyes and LEAP!!!

I have copied the lyrics here, I wish there was a way for me to put the actual song file here so you could all hear it.  It's so beautiful!!  I guess I should find the recording from Broadway and listen to that too :)

Something has changed within me

Something is not the same

I'm through with playing by the rules

Of someone else's game

Too late for second-guessing

Too late to go back to sleep

It's time to trust my instincts
Close my eyes: and leap!

It's time to try

Defying gravity

I think I'll try

Defying gravity

Kiss me goodbye

I am defying gravity

And you wont bring me down!

I'm through accepting limits

''cause someone says they're so

Some things I cannot change

But till I try, I'll never know!

Too long I've been afraid of

Losing love I guess I've lost

Well, if that's love
It comes at much too high a cost!

I'd sooner buy

Defying gravity

Kiss me goodbye

I'm defying gravity

I think I'll try

Defying gravity

And you wont bring me down!

I'd sooner buy

Defying gravity

Kiss me goodbye

I'm defying gravity

I think I'll try

Defying gravity

And you won't bring me down!

bring me down!
ohh ohhh ohhhh!