Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Slipping through my fingers....

Ok, so maybe I'm being a bit over dramatic, I mean it's just kindergarten, right?  I know I am, but next thing I know she will be in high school!  Sarah has entered a whole new world of learning and she is truly in heaven!  She LOVES school, loves learning and discovering new things.  She loves reading and is such an excellent artist, I'm in awe of her.  She could draw through a ream of paper in a day if I let her.  So at school, she is free to experience it all in ways that I could not give her.  And I know that is the school's job and I know I shouldn't feel guilty about it (but I do sometimes, I don't know why).   She was so excited when I picked her up yesterday and couldn't wait to go back today.  Sometimes when I look at her, I just marvel at this beautiful being that I brought into the world 5 years ago.

I really like her teacher, she seems fantastic!  She is so caring and has such a wonderful energy!  Sarah already loves her.  Yesterday afternoon after snack, my girls started playing school and Sarah was "Mrs. Burnett."  I will have to tell her that sometime. 

The past two mornings we were able to walk our children right into the gym, right to the teacher! Tomorrow though we just drop them off at the front door.  Her classroom is at the back of the school.  The thought of her walking all the way by herself kept me awake for hours last night.  Then I came up with the idea of asking on of the other mom's if their child might want to walk with Sarah so they could walk together.  That idea allowed me to fall asleep.  Even with this plan in place though, drop off will be infinitely harder for me, Sarah will probably be nervous but she will be fine.  I don't know how parents of children who are bused handle it, I'm fairly certain, I would be a wreck.  I admire those parents!  Several times now, I've seen Sarah talk to herself to psych herself up to do something.  When she was having trouble getting her kite in the air, she made up a song, saying "Never give up, I'll never give up."  When she was trying to psych herself up to go across the monkey bars, she said over and over "I believe in my heart that I can do it."  So I'm sure tomorrow if she has trouble she will talk herself into overcoming her nervousness!  She truly amazes me!! 

I think sometimes I need to be more like her, with her enthusiasm and her amazing self esteem.  I'm so proud of her when she is her own cheerleader.  Sometimes you just need that.  I can't wait for her to cheer me on during the race in October!  She will be over the top!  It will be excellent!!!  I miss her terribly and I can't wait to go pick her up in 2 hours and hear all about her day!! 

Just a quick update about my running:  I ran 5 miles Saturday night after 2 excellent birthday parties.  I haven't run at night in a really long time.  It seemed so different, I'm pretty sure I swallowed a couple bugs.  There don't seem to be any bugs in the morning.  I got home just as it was getting really dark.  I thought since it was the end of the day I wouldn't need much of a warmup, but my calves were bothering me. 
This morning I ran 5.1 miles.  I started later than I wanted to and the inside of my calf was really bothering me.  So I walked for a good chunk of time.  Around 2.5 miles, "There Must Be an Angel" came on my Ipod and I started running and kept going and my leg felt fine.  It seems to take me a long time to warm up, not sure why.  I got home later than I wanted and then our morning was a bit rushed. 

I have a 3 mile run on Thursday and then a 10.2 mile run on Saturday!!  Next week is going to be a high mileage week.  I hope I can keep up!  I hope the weather cooperates too.  I hope Hurricane Earl stays out at sea!!

And I know I've rambled on long enough but wanted to share this quickly.  On the Nike website, there is this "Mini Me" that is supposed to provide extra motivation for you.  I think it's fairly lame, you can customize them a bit, but wish there were more options, mine looks kind of freaky actually.  Anyway, if you click on it, it will say semi-motivating things.  But yesterday I changed mine up a bit and when I was finished it said "Your running skills defy gravity."  When I read it, a chill actually went through my whole body.  I hadn't seen it say that before, I thought it was pretty awesome that it echoed my new theme song. 

Emma starts preschool next Wednesday.  She is going M-W-F mornings.  Who knows how I will be doing next week?!?!?  Weren't they babies just yesterday?  Time has just flown by so quickly around here.  I think time literally sped up when Emma was born.  I'm hoping to spend most of the time they are both at school at the gym!  Hopefully, at first I will be too busy to be sad.  I'm sure next week, I ramble on and on about her too! 

Schoolbag in hand, she leaves home in the early morning
Waving goodbye with an absent-minded smile
I watch her go with a surge of that well-known sadness
And I have to sit down for a while
The feeling that I'm losing her forever
And without really entering her world
I'm glad whenever I can share her laughter
That funny little girl

Slipping through my fingers all the time
I try to capture every minute
The feeling in it
Slipping through my fingers all the time
Do I really see what's in her mind
Each time I think I'm close to knowing
She keeps on growing
Slipping through my fingers all the time

Sleep in our eyes, her and me at the breakfast table
Barely awake, I let precious time go by
Then when she's gone there's that odd melancholy feeling
And a sense of guilt I can't deny
What happened to the wonderful adventures
The places I had planned for us to go
(slipping through my fingers all the time)
Well, some of that we did but most we didn't
And why I just don't know

Sometimes I wish that I could freeze the picture
And save it from the funny tricks of time
Slipping through my fingers...

Slipping through my fingers all the time
Schoolbag in hand she leaves home in the early morning
Waving goodbye with an absent-minded smile...

Thursday, August 26, 2010

Mid-season slump?

I felt great after my 8.33 mile run on Saturday, I wasn't sore at all.  I was kind of expecting to be a little sore, but I really wasn't.  Seth and I even went out to a fancy party for our neighbor's 50th wedding anniversary that night.  I even wore heels, not crazy ones, but heels none the less!  We had a fantastic time at the party.  We are so blessed to have such wonderful neighbors!!  They have just included us from day 1 of living here. It was so lovely to talk to them.  And they were all SO incredibly supportive of me training for the 1/2 marathon! 

Sunday morning we got up for church and I wasn't sore, but this incredible feeling of exhaustion settled over me.  I can't quite explain it, but it was almost if I could fall asleep at any moment and had pretty much zero ambition.  At first it was ok, but then it started getting on my nerves, I would have been so happy sitting on the couch doing nothing.  The girls were tired on Sunday so we just had a quiet day around here.  It was a lovely day on Monday so we went to the playground.  It was a lot of fun!  But when we got home, I didn't really want to do anything. 

I was scheduled for a 4 mile run on Tuesday.  When my alarm went off, it was so dark outside and I thought I heard rain.  So I turned off my alarm and rolled over and went back to sleep.  When I did wake up, I realized that it wasn't raining and I was pretty disappointed in myself, but I also felt like I got a bit of extra sleep.  Which I probably needed since we spent the day walking all over the Baltimore Zoo.  I love the Baltimore Zoo, this was the first time we have been all year.  We met friends there and we had a great time, except that I thought I yelled to much.  I was tired and wasn't at my best with the girls.  I was pretty disappointed in myself. That night, I met up with some friends to go out to dinner.  I'm very blessed to be friends with these incredible women!  We have been friends for 5 years, we all met in a support group for brand new Moms.  We had a wonderful time, it's so great to go out with my friends.  We talked about EVERYTHING!!!  The food was good, the company was great.  I think I got home around 10:30 and it felt like it was like 2 in the morning for some reason.  Again, this feeling of exhaustion was just overwhelming. 

I didn't even set my alarm for Wednesday morning.  I didn't even try to get up, but then the girls got up around 7:30 and I figured I needed to get the day started.  We ate breakfast and then we headed out to the grocery store, which was kind of a disaster.  Our grocery store has these little carts for kids.  It sounds like a good idea, right?  It's the worst idea EVER!  Both girls of course needed one and then they fought over what got put into each cart.  They ran and didn't watch where they were going.  Each one of them ran into my ankles at full force.  OMG, it hurt!!!  I tried to include them in the shopping and there were moments when they were a big help.  But for the most part, I think I just looked the worst mother ever with my children running amuck and me just yelling.  I was not happy.  When we got home, things improved a bit and we had an ok afternoon until dinner time and then the whining started and I had zero patience.  I knew I was off my game, and I just seemed to make matters worse. Nothing was right for the girls and I felt like I was at the end of my rope!  I couldn't wait for Seth to come home. 

Was I depressed?  I'm not sure.  Was I anxious?  Maybe.  Was I tired?  Absolutely!  All these things combined to make me a not so good Mommy.  It was at this point, that I realized that I hadn't run since Saturday, could there be a connection?  Or was I just on the edge of a breakdown?  I decided that I wanted to believe it was because I hadn't run in 5 days and come hell or high water I was going to run this morning!!  I had to turn things around.  I wasn't sure it was all just the girls, I was pretty sure that I was to blame for a lot of the yuckiness around here this week.  I told Seth that no matter what I had to get up and he said that when the alarm went off, he would kick me out of bed.  I said that wasn't quite necessary but a gentle nudge would be helpful. 

So the alarm went off at 5:45, and it was still dark out!  YUCK!  I lay in bed for a moment trying to get my motivation to get up.  It seemed like an eternity, but finally I got up.  I changed my clothes, checked the weather on my Ipod and saw that the sunrise was at 6:30.  Yuck!  I decided that I needed to head out through the neighborhood, the path would be dark.  The temperature was perfect though!  I walked and stretched out for a bit and then I started running.  It felt great!!!  I was listening to great songs and I was in my groove!!  I ran through the neighborhood for a bit and then ran laps around the pond by my house.  I'm pretty sure I didn't have any deep thoughts, I was just in the moment of putting my foot in front of the next.  I'm pretty sure I completely zoned out for awhile.  Sometimes when so much is going on, you need a few moments of just not thinking about anything.  It was a good run, I had some technical difficulties around mile 4, my Ipod just stopped the music and my workout.  So I had to restart both of them, not sure why that happened but whatever.  Even that didn't seem to really bother me today.  I ran a total of 5.17 miles this morning.  When I got home, both girls were awake and excited to see me.  It was a fantastic way to start the day! 

We have had such an incredibly different day today.  I'm working really hard on not yelling and I've asked the girls to really work on their listening!  It's teamwork for sure!  We went to Target and we even went to the mall and there were no meltdowns, no yelling, it was like we were all different people.  Well maybe not all different, but I sure was different.  I need to remember that when I least feel like running, is probably when I need it the most.  I have come to rely on that time and I cherish it.  And I'm sure it makes me a better mother and person, I have more patience, more energy and a brighter outlook on life.  I have a pretty easy week in training coming up, I'm glad since Sarah starts kindergarten on Monday, I need to figure out our new morning routine.  I'm sure it will be chaotic at moments, but that's all part of it, right? 

5 miles on Saturday morning, I'm looking forward to it.  On 9/5, I'm scheduled for a 10 mile run!!! YIKES!!!! Then the training really kicks up a notch!!  I will be putting in some serious mileage in September, gearing up for October!  It's not that far away anymore, I think I'm through mid-season now!   

Saturday, August 21, 2010

8.33 MILES!!!!

So I did it!!  I was nervous about this run for some reason, 8 miles seems so long, much longer than 7 for some reason.  I did it in an 1:41, I was very pleased with my time!  According to my Nike Sensor I did a 12'08 minute mile.  That seems prety acceptable!  It's faster than I have been running my other runs lately.  I am seeing quite a bit of progress!  I think I need to keep mixing up my routes, I seem to do better on new routes.  Not sure if it's because I'm not sure what is coming up next or what, but I'll take it.  I'm pretty proud of myself and now 13.1 miles doesn't seem quite so scary. 

I left the house this morning at 7:30, I had planned on going to Centennial Lake.  In the car on the way there, I listened to my theme song "Defying Gravity" really loud to try to psych myself up!  When I turned the corner into the park, I saw all these barriers and signs for an Iron Girl race.  So I couldn't run there,  I thought for a minute of where I could go and decided to head over to Lake Elkhorn and run around there. 

Lake Elkhorn is very close to our old townhouse.  Seth and I would go there quite a bit and walk around, we walked there when I was pregnant and when Sarah was little baby.  I would also meet my new Mommy friends and we would walk around it with our newborns in our strollers.  It was so lovely.  We would sometimes have a picnic there after with all our babies crawling around on the blanket.  Such wonderful memories.  As I was running this morning, these memories came flooding back to me. 

You see, I haven't been to Lake Elkhorn since July 2, 2007.  It was such a beautiful cool day, which was a suprise for July in MD.  Emma was 3 months old and it was the day before Sarah's second birthday.  I pushed them both in our double stroller and I was amazed that I saw 3 cardinals.  It was such a lovely day.  When we got home, we had lunch, Sarah took a nap and then I got that most awful call from Dad that my Uncle was gone.  And my life was forever changed. 

It wasn't a delibrate thing to stay away from that lake, it just sort of happened.  And the longer it went on, the harder it seemed to ever go back there.  I just wanted to freeze that memory.  Plus I was afraid that I would be overwhelmed if I went back. I had gone to the playground several times with friends but I just didn't want to go around that lake. 

So it was with trepidation that I headed over there this morning, I was already nervous about the run.  But the more I thought about it, the more I thought that this was exactly where I needed to go for my longest run so far.  It was a good run, I had all my memories to keep me company.  I had to run around the lake 4 times to get to 8 miles and it is pretty hilly.  A lot of the path is in the shade so it was very nice.  A cardinal did fly right in front of me on the path and I got a little misty.  I felt like my Grandma Boyden, Grandma Pete and Uncle were right there checking up on me.  Mile 2 is always hard for me, not sure why, if I'm not warming up enough or what, but once I got passed it, I got into a pretty good pace. I was surprised that the saddness didn't overwhelm me, but it didn't.  There were many bittersweet moments, but I'm so glad I was there and I plan to go back for my other long runs.    Around mile 6.5, I was on a pretty big hill and I was tired and I'm not kidding a woman ran past me and she was running BACKWARDS!  I felt pretty pathetic at that moment, but whatever. 

Anyway, I'm feeling good this afternoon, no pains or strains.  I'm really proud of myself, and feeling much more confident about this 13.1 miles in October.  I'm so glad that I went back to Lake Elkhorn, yes it's attached to a horrible memory but there were so many, many happy memories there.  I am definitely headed back there for more runs, I enjoyed having the memories with me!! 

Friday, August 20, 2010

There must be an angel.....

It has been a lot harder to get up at 5:45am lately. I just really want to hit the snooze button and roll right back over and go to sleep.  First of all, it already seems darker than it has, although we have had several rainy, cloudy days. Second, in the summer, we aren't as strict about bedtimes, so we have had many late nights.  (We need to get back into our schedule since school starts in a week). 

So Tuesday was one of those mornings, I was scheduled for a 4 mile run.  The alarm went off and I hit snooze.  I lay there again debating the pros and cons of getting up.  It was so dark out.  I finally kicked the covers off and got up.  I got dressed and turned my Ipod on, the first song of my shuffle was "There Must Be an Angel Playing with My Heart" by the Eurythmics. This song has always had a special place in my family and everytime we are together, we play it, and we all dance and sing at the top of our lungs!  It's fantastic!  So it holds a very special place in my heart and it reminds me instantly of my family and of course of Uncle!   Now I know what you might be thinking, 'you put that song on your Ipod so of course you will hear it', but I always have it on "shuffle" so I never know what the next song will be.  So it was a pleasant surprise to hear it first thing and I like to think it was Uncle encouraging me. 

So off I went and I did get to 4.2 miles but it was a tough run, which kind of bummed me out.  But I knew how tired I was, I knew it would be tough.  But I got through it.  Later in the day, the girls and I went to the pool and had such a lovely time! 

Wednesday night before bed I decide to be nice to my feet and I put some Aveda foot lotion on them, it feels fantastic.  Similar scenario Thursday morning, hit snooze, but this time I scheduled for a 5 mile run so I couldn't dilly dally, I needed to get back in time for Seth to get to work.  So this morning no divine intervention to start off.  But I got going and I felt pretty good.  Although I felt like my feet are slipping and sliding in my shoes.  I realized that I made a rookie mistake by putting the lotion on BEFORE a run, even if it was the night before.  It bothered me the whole run, I won't do that again.  I'll be nice to my feet AFTER a run!!  Good thing I realized this now and not the night before the 1/2 marathon or something.  I changed up my route a bit, went through some of the neighborhood and then to my pond and I run several laps around there.  It's good to be back to my pond, I've missed it! I did make it to 5.2 miles and I felt pretty good. 

Thursday morning we headed down to the National Zoo, it was a lovely day and we met friends there.  Not sure if you have been there before but it's VERY hilly there and my girls fought over who sits in the stroller.  So I'm walked while pushing one of them in the stroller.  It was very fun and we saw a lot of animals.  The panda bear was sitting really close to the glass, it was the best view I've ever had, usually they are sitting far away in a tree or something.  Anyway, the girls love seeing their friend and seeing all the animals.  But it's pretty exhausting.  Emma fell asleep on the way home, I thought Sarah was going to fall asleep too, she was SO quiet!  If I wasn't driving, I could probably have fallen asleep too! 

I'm very sleepy today, I was hoping the girls would sleep in, but they were both up at 7 this morning.  I started taking a multivitamin today, I probably should have done that awhile ago.   So I'm hoping that will help.  We are heading to a birthday party for one our good friends at the pool!! It should be alot of fun.  I want to spend as much time at the pool as I can before school starts.  Sarah has her orientation a week from today, I can't believe it.

Tomorrow I'm scheduled for an 8 mile run.  I'm a little nervous about it, but kind of excited at the same time.  It will definitely be the farthest I've run so far.  It is supposed to be a nice day and I'm going to go to Centennial Lake to run.  I need to bring a camera so I can show you how beautiful it is.  It takes me away.  Running has become more than just exercise for me. It has become my time to be alone with my thoughts, my music and with nature.  It is my time to pray and meditate, which might sound strange, but it's true.  I see or feel signs from Uncle, to let me know that he is right there with me.  It is my time to reflect on what is going on or plan what we will do next. It is my time to process all that is going on with our family.  So running has become so much more to me than just running.  I started as a way to lose weight (which hasn't worked), then I was doing it for fitness, and really I think, even though I'm heavier than I want to be, I'm probably in the best shape I've been in since my early 20's.  Now I run, obviously to train for the 1/2 marathon , but I also run for me to be a better mother, wife and person. I find that I am much more patient and a better mother on the days that I run versus the days I don't.  I definitely feel like this is my time with my angels and they keep me moving on! 

No-one on earth could feel like this.
I'm thrown and overblown with bliss.
There must be an angel
Playing with my heart.
I walk into an empty room
And suddenly my heart goes "boom"!
It's an orchestra of angels
And they're playing with my heart.
(must be talking to an angel)
No-one on earth could feel like this.
I'm thrown and overblown with bliss.
There must be an angel
Playing with my heart.
And when I think that I'm alone
It seems there's more of us at home.
It's a multitude of angels
And they're playing with my heart.

I must be hallucinating
Watching angels celebrating.
Could this be reactivating
All my senses dislocating?
This must be a strange deception
By celestial intervention.
Leavin' me the recollection
Of your heavenly connection.

Monday, August 16, 2010

My little petunia....

Just in case you were wondering, my little petunias are continuing to thrive without any interference from me.  I don't water them, change their soil, bring them inside during crazy thunderstorms, nothing, I do nothing to these petunias except watch the grow and bloom.  The little plant on the left is one that I tried really hard to nurture.  Sarah brought it home as a seed in a cup of dirt.  I watered it and replanted it and put it in sunlight and it thrived for awhile.  I'm not sure if I over watered it or what, but it is now not doing so well, in fact I'm fairly certain we have reached a point of no return. 
And yet, my miracle petunias that just arrived in my planters are doing remarkably well.  Thank you, Uncle!!  They are a wonderful and constant reminder of you! 

Ok, on to other things.  My back is feeling a lot better.  I didn't even take any Aleve today!  YEAH!  It actually started feeling better on Saturday.   I was scheduled for a 7 mile run in my training program, I wasn't sure if I could do it, but I wanted to give it a try.  I started out with no expectations, I had hoped to make it to 5 miles so I started out walking to limber up and I went slow.  I was really listening to my body and watching for any signs of pain.  I didn't see or feel any.  So I kept going.  It was a wonderfully cool grey morning.  If it had been hot, I'm fairly certain I wouldn't have made it as far as I did.  I went slow, but I did run a chunk of it and it felt ok.  I didn't want to push it but the weather was good, the music was good and I was feeling good too!  So I did make it to 7.18 miles, but it was pretty slow going. 

When I got home, I was afraid that maybe I had overdone it. But remarkably, my back actually felt better after.  It didn't bother me Saturday afternoon but I was worried about getting out of bed on Sunday morning. But I got up without any pain at all and the same this morning.  It is doing really well.  I think I got really overtired with the reunion and then with the Himes here and my body needed to tell me to rest some.  I'm so glad that I listened to it.  Tomorrow I'm scheduled for a 4 mile run, then on Thursday a 5 mile run and then on Saturday it's getting bumped up to an 8 mile run.  Yikes!!!  I would like to go back to Centennial Lake, I figure 8 miles is about 3 times around the lake.  I would like that. 

I got an email on Friday that the Baltimore 1/2 Marathon has sold out!!  That means that there will be 10,000 runners running it on Oct. 16th.  The full Marathon is 90% sold out, it's limit is 5,000 runners.  I'm not sure how many more will run in the 5K.  But it is going to be a big deal!!!  It really overwhelms me at times.  And I wonder what in the world I'm doing.  But then there are times when I know I'm doing exactly what I need to be doing!!!  As I'm running, I'll hear a song or see a cardinal or feel a hand on my back and I know, I just know that Uncle is with me, he is smiling and is thrilled that I'm on this journey.  He is thrilled that I am "defying gravity." 

Big things are happening around here. Only 2 more weeks until Sarah starts kindergarten!!!   Emma starts preschool 3 mornings a week after Labor Day!  I'm going to hit the gym while they are both at school :)  We have had a wonderful summer, we have done some pretty amazing things.  But I'm anxious to get back into a routine, Sarah is anxious about school, but wants to get back to it too.  I know she gets bored hanging out with me.  It has been so ridiculously hot this summer, I'm anxious for the cooler weather.  Of course we have to get in as much pool time as possible before they close. There is probably a fair going on around here somewhere, we need to hit that.  I don't want to spend the next two weeks wishing the summer away.  I want to enjoy it to it's fullest! 

Friday, August 13, 2010

Knock on wood....

Apparently, I did not knock long or hard enough this week.  I was tempting fate and teasing the Gods talking about my back to my cousin Sarah.  I have a history of having a bad back, I have degenerative disc disease.  I found that out after my Sarah was born, I had a lot of back trouble then.  I saw specialists, had an MRI and went to physical therapy.  Didn't get much relief until ironically I got pregnant with Emma and magically, the pain went away.  The doctor said that with disc trouble, it can just go away like that.  I was so thankful!! 

I have had a couple episodes since then but they have been relatively short.  When we were in the Outer Banks 2 years ago, I threw my back out, I just bent down to pick up Emma.  That was horrible.  But some Aleve and some Thermacares helped.  By the end of the week, it was better.  I think that was the last time it flared up.

On Tuesday afternoon, my cousin Sarah and her girls were here visiting.  Sarah and I were talking, and I said that I hadn't had any back troubles since the Outer Banks and promptly knocked on wood.  But I knew the possibility was there for it to flare up again.  I didn't think much of it until Wednesday morning, my Sarah and Emma were fighting.  Sarah took a big swing at Emma and I wrestled her away and picked her up and tried to get her to the stairs.  I felt that horrible twinge in my lower back, but she wouldn't stop so I got her all the way to the stairs and the twinge got bigger.  I did some stretches to see if I could get ahead of it.   Didn't seem to help, in fact it might have made it worse.  Seth brought home some Thermacares and I took some Aleve and that helped a lot.  It wasn't as bad as when I had thrown it out in the Outer Banks, I could get some relief, but it was pretty painful at times.  Sleeping is always hard with a painful back.  I did set out my running stuff, in hopes that by some miracle, my back would feel fine in the morning and I could get out for my run. 

When I woke up, my back was still bothering and we were having a ridiculous thunderstorms.  So even if I felt great, there was no way I could go for a run.  I was pretty relieved actually.  I took a wicked hot shower, took some Aleve and my back felt pretty ok for the rest of the day.  Last night I was hopeful again that I could go out running this morning.  I checked my running stuff and left it by the end of the bed, in hopes I could just grab it in the morning.  I slept pretty fair, until around 4:00, I tried to roll over and I felt that awful twinge again.  I was debating with myself about the pros and cons of staying in bed or getting up and running.  I finally decided that it was probably wisest to take it easy for another day.  Why risk further injuring myself?  Plus it's another rainy day.  It's as if Mother Nature is making it easier for me to stay home. 

I never in my wildest dream thought I would miss running so much.  That just seems so strange to me!  But I do miss it.  I haven't run since Tuesday.  I'm already thinking about ways to get out there again.  If my back feels ok, I may try to go out tonight.  And then if that doesn't work, what about tomorrow morning?  And if I run tonight, could I run on Sunday morning before church or would it be better Sunday after church?  If I get off schedule, it seems I start to obsess a bit.  Maybe I am becoming a real runner!! 

So we will see how it goes, I am going to go slow, be gentle and listen to my body when I do go for my run again.  I really don't want to get hurt even more.  I still have more than 2 months to go before the 1/2 marathon.  I don't want to risk not being able to run there.  You can bet, I'm not going to talk about any more potential problems, knocking on wood doesn't seem to really work ;)  

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Just trying to catch up...

It's been a busy week since I posted last, not sure exactly where to start.  I ran 7.21 miles in an hour and 27 minutes on Friday morning because I knew I wouldn't be able to run on Saturday in Shenandoah.  It was a really good run.  Mile 2 is typically hard for me though.  I ran the first mile and then my calves really started bothering me.  I was worried I wouldn't be able to go very far.  So I walked for awhile and then they felt better so I was able to run.  I do stretch them before I start, but I wonder if my muscles rebel against me since they just got out of bed :)  Once I got to mile 3, I got into a great pace and I just kept going, I was running on pretty straight, level streets, not many hills.   It was great though!!  By the time I got to 6 miles though I was ready to be done, but I kept going!  I got to 7.21 miles, I was thrilled with myself.  When I got home, I got right in the shower and packed up, got the girls in the car and headed to Shenandoah National Park! 

We had such a fantastic time in Shenandoah!!  It was so great to see everyone and catch up.  It was great to see our kids all play together!  It was like they play together all the time!  I think we got all the camping requirements in too; we made s'mores; we saw deer and a BEAR (we were in our car when we saw it, but it was very close to the road, we saw it before the Ranger got there!!!!!); we flew kites; we went on a 4 mile hike; we got really dirty; Sarah fell into a pool at a waterfall,got totally soaked, but kept going anyway; we had a campfire; eating to much; staying up way to late; getting really tired, but having a marvelous time anyway.  I have such an amazing family, I'm very blessed.  It was so great being with them!!  I miss them already!!  I'm really not doing the weekend justice here, but if I went into every detail, you would be reading forever.  But just know that it was a phenomenal weekend in a great place with wonderful people doing really cool things!! 

We got home around 8:30 on Sunday night, we all just went right to bed.  Monday was a laundry and cleaning up day!  We patiently awaited the arrival of Sarah, Courtney and Hannah who were coming to spend the night here.  My girls were so thrilled when they arrived.  We made a decision to head down to DC to see the Air and Space Museum because it was supposed to be even hotter on Tuesday and Seth could go with us.  So we all got into the car and headed to the Metro Station.  I think that some of the museum was over their heads, but they didn't seem to mind.  They all had a great time there!  They loved seeing the spacecrafts and the planets.  They loved pushing buttons even if they had no idea what it might do!  I asked Courtney what her favorite part of the museum was and she said the gift shop!  I had to agree with her :)  I would love another SpacePen, but I held off and will get another one someday :)  I love going into DC, I would love to go down more often.  Got home late, our power went out for awhile, so it was almost 11:00 before the girls went to bed.  YIKES!

I set my alarm for 5:45 for Tuesday morning, but I just could not get up for my run.  I was so angry with myself, but I couldn't do it.  I did get up at 8:00, which was before everyone but Seth who had to go into work.  It was nice to get a little quiet time.  I had an hour to myself before everyone got up.  When everyone was up, I asked Auntie Sarah if she would watch the girls so I could go out for a run.  I was a little worried since it was already 83 degrees out, but I wanted to try!  So I headed out, man it was hot out.  I did get in 4.1 miles, that is what was on my training schedule, so I was happy, but so sweaty and hot!  I didn't seem to have the problem at mile 2 this time, not sure why.  Maybe because I didn't shock my muscles awake, I had for them to wake up some before I headed out.  I definitely enjoy running better when it's cooler!!  But I did it and was happy I got the run in. 

We spent the afternoon at the pool, which was very fun!  It was an afternoon of the girls showing off all their tricks and I think a bit of one upping each other, but it was still very fun!!!  After the pool, Peter came to pick up the Himes and headed to Jeneva's for dinner.  We headed down shortly after they left.  We had a lovely dinner at Jeneva's.  Again, it was so fantastic to see all the kids play together so nicely!!  It warmed my heart!!  But then it was time to say good bye and it was very sad.  My girls cried and cried and then it started to rain, which just made it sadder.  My girls cried a good part of the way home.  We told them they could write to Courtney and Hannah and we could call them.  That seemed to make them feel better!  It was another late night, they are SO tired! 

This morning, my girls and I slept until 9:00!  I haven't done that in a really long time.  We are having a quiet day, they are playing dressup in the basement while I'm uploading photos and writing this blog.  My house is a wreck, I have more laundry to do and I need to unload the dishwasher and reload it.  I still have baskets of laundry that are folded but need to put the clothes away.  I still haven't showered either, but it all seems OK.  I'm still basking in the glow of the extended weekend!  It was so fabulous!  Once I hit publish though I need to get moving and get back into our routine.  We might go to the pool later since it might rain tomorrow afternoon.  I'm scheduled for a 5 mile run in the morning and then another 7 mile run on Saturday.  We will get into some type of a routine around here just in time for school to start and then we need to start a new one.  I can't think about that right now though, right now I'm just trying to catch up :)

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Defying Gravity

When my alarm went off at 5:50 this morning, I did not want to wake up, it was dark outside and I really just wanted to turn the alarm off and sleep until 8:00.  I knew that I was scheduled for a 4 mile run so I lay there, fighting with myself and finally I kicked off the covers and got my butt out of bed.  I got dressed and ready to head out.  But I wasn't feeling very motivated. 

I walked a bit to warm up and then ran a mile but my calves were bothering me, I stopped a couple times to stretch them out more.  I kept thinking about my great run on Saturday and was feeling a little blue about how I was feeling this morning, just kind of discouraged.  It's a kind of gray overcast morning with wicked humidity, just kind of a yucky morning all around.  I was thinking that maybe I had overdone it on Saturday and now I'm paying for it. I was definitely thinking that this was a big step back.  I walked 2 miles and then the Hallelujah Chorus came on my Ipod and I started running.  My legs were finally warmed up, they didn't hurt so I ran.  I wanted to go further but I had to get home so Seth could get to work.  I went 4.64 miles this morning, but I was disappointed, it was a poor showing in my opinion.  Of course I'm my worst coach and judge.  I'm very hard on myself and I was just scheduled to do a 4 mile run on my training schedule but I wanted to do 5 miles.  I have a serious tendency to want to over do! 

After my shower and breakfast, while I was icing my Achilles tendon, I plugged my Ipod into the computer and after it synced, it opened up the Nike website and a skater named P. Rod popped up and congratulated me on running 100 miles total and called me a serious runner and then he said I was a badass.  (Since June 17th, I've run 101.52 miles)  Also another runner, whose name escapes me, popped up and congratulated me on running my fastest mile so far.  I ran a mile in 10 min 56 sec.  Could this info really be about the same run I was so disappointed in?!?!  I'm so glad I have this sensor to prove me wrong and it has on several occasions.    I definitely need to be more gentle to myself and give myself a break! 

So I have a new theme song and sometimes when I listen to it, it sometimes makes me cry!  It's "Defying Gravity" from the musical Wicked.  I have to admit that I haven't seen Wicked or even read the book.  But I heard this song on "Glee," which I admit that I am coming in late in watching it.  I'm watching the reruns this summer.  My sister and many of my friends rave about the show and it is fantastic.  My friend Alysia even named her blog after this song.  So I heard it and liked it but it wasn't until this morning while I was listening to it on my Ipod, that it really clicked with me, that it was speaking directly to me and about my journey to the 1/2 marathon.  That all of my running and training is me "defying gravity."  That it's time to trust my instincts, close my eyes and LEAP!!!

I have copied the lyrics here, I wish there was a way for me to put the actual song file here so you could all hear it.  It's so beautiful!!  I guess I should find the recording from Broadway and listen to that too :)

Something has changed within me
Something is not the same
I'm through with playing by the rules
Of someone else's game
Too late for second-guessing
Too late to go back to sleep
It's time to trust my instincts
Close my eyes: and leap!

It's time to try
Defying gravity
I think I'll try
Defying gravity
Kiss me goodbye
I am defying gravity
And you wont bring me down!

I'm through accepting limits
''cause someone says they're so
Some things I cannot change
But till I try, I'll never know!
Too long I've been afraid of
Losing love I guess I've lost
Well, if that's love
It comes at much too high a cost!

I'd sooner buy
Defying gravity
Kiss me goodbye
I'm defying gravity
I think I'll try
Defying gravity
And you wont bring me down!

I'd sooner buy
Defying gravity
Kiss me goodbye
I'm defying gravity
I think I'll try
Defying gravity
And you won't bring me down!
bring me down!
ohh ohhh ohhhh!